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Cat Commandments

1-Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.

2-Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

3-Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

4-Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.

5-Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

6-Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

7-Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

8-Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

9-Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

10-Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

11-Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.

12-Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

13-Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.

14-Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

15-Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

16-Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

17-Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

18-Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded. (yeah right)