Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept
Microsoft rights to the TV dinner. You may not give anyone else a bite of
your dinner as outlined in the TV Dinner Piracy section of the user
agreement. You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and
are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the
oven using the command line:
\mstv.dinn.//08.5min@@50%heat// Then enter:
If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set
itself and cook the dinner.
If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the
dinner, the weight of the dinner, the desired level of cooking and press
start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the dinner
exactly to your specification.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must
be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven
This process may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and then
doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor.
Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the
dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty.
These are for future menu items.
If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your
equipment. Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the
chicken XP variety is currently produced. If you want another variety, call
MicrosoftHelp and they will explain that you really don't want another
variety. Microsoft Chicken XP is all you really need.
Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue support for all smaller versions
of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family
size. Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only
in Microsoft approved packaging.
Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after Chicken XP. However,
that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled
Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer,
causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your
freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.
No other company is allowed to create items to be used with Microsoft dinners
without first partnering with Microsoft. This is solely to protect the
consumer and is not intended to impede progress and creativity in the dinner
industry. This includes, but is not limited to dessert.
You may not play a game or use an application while you eat your Microsoft
dinner unless that game or application was designed by a Microsoft partner
and is certified by Microsoft to be %100 compatible with your Microsoft
You are only leasing your Microsoft dinner, you agree to not "reverse
engineer" your Microsoft dinner or send it out of the country. You may
store one backup Microsoft dinner for personal use.
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