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CRITTER GIGGLES

Oedipus
 
The archer pulled an arrow from his quiver and drew carefully.  Taking aim, he
let fly the razor-tipped carbon rod through the forest, straight for a doe,
lazily munching an acorn snack.  She perked one ear and listened to the distant
whistle.  Instinctively, she took one step backward at the right moment and
watched the arrow whiz by.  She shifted her eyes and looked straight at the
hunter and shook her head.  Then she spit an acorn at him, daring him to try
again.  He nocked another arrow and let it fly.  As it approached, the doe did
a little chorus line dance and jumped into the air.  As the arrow passed
beneath her, she clicked it with one hoof, sending it harmlessly into the
brush.
 
The doe pranced a few yards and deftly shoved her right front hoof deep into a
hedge apple.  She let out a loud "Haeeeyah!" as she did a Jackie Chan spin and
flipped her foot, sending the hedge apple squarely into the hunter's chest.
She laughed with glee when she heard the thud and saw him fall to the ground
like a dead tree limb in an ice storm.
 
In pain and barely able to breathe, the hunter sat up and scanned the forest for
the mutant ninja doe from hell.  The forest was empty and silent.  The hunter
was alone.  He rose to his feet and reached for his bow and quiver.  Much to
his surprise, his quiver was full.  There were no arrows missing.  He looked
around for the hedge apple that had knocked him to the ground and it was gone.
Had this all been a dream, an illusion?
 
<scene changes>
 
So doctor, what does this mean?" said Gary, as he lay on the button-tufted
leather couch in the psychiatrist's office.
 
The doctor looked over his nose glasses and said in a strong German accent,
"Vell, it's obvious you vish to have sex mit your mother!  Dat vill be all for
today.  Ve vill see you next Tuesday.  Yah?"
 
<scene changes>
 
"Come Zortok, we must return to the mother ship.  This suit is starting to itch.
 Stay close to the brush this time so you won't be seen.  You almost blew our
cover, showing off with that hunter."
 
"Relax, Mipzor!  I put all the arrows back.  He doesn't suspect a thing.
Besides, all's well that ends well.  I hear he's spending more time with his
mother these days.  And thank you for telling the Divine Ruler," Zortok added
sarcastically.  Because of you, I got demoted to skunk!"
 
"It's your own fault and you know it," replied Mipzor.  "Shut up and keep your
distance.  You stink!"

- -Rod Ellis